Lemmings, we are all lemmings. Let me start...

I usually leave memes exclusively for Myspace, but I figure this I would do this survey in lieu of some verbose recap of my year. I know you adore me, readers, but even I would not subject you to that. Feel free to skim, read, copy and repost, etc.

Year end survey.


1. What did you do in 2008 that you'd never done before?
The first thing that came to mind is that I have never shopped at stores before. Actual "mall" stores with clothes on mannequins and labels on the vestments. I've always been too large, having been shunned to catalog orders full of clothes made exclusively for boating or golfing.

2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I tend not to make resolutions, because that just gives you a reason to break them. I do, however, remember telling myself that I would try to actually enjoy my life as opposed to always waiting for something to happen in the future. I think it worked out, with various degrees of success

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
No, though someone close to me will be giving birth any day now. However, I think I should save that for my 2009 year in review.

4. Did anyone close to you die?
I have to think real hard on this, because my first thought is "no" but then I might remember someone that I did know that died, and I would feel horrible. Upon reflecting, though, I do believe the answer is still "no."


5.What countries did you visit?
No countries this year, other that the one I live in.

6.What would you like to have in 2009 that you lacked in 2008?
You know, I am not going to answer this. My expectations in life are so low, that I become surprised with any sort of event that happens in my life.



7. What date from 2008 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
This answer is obvious: May 12, the day I had RNY.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
I'm starting to sound like a broken record: losing about 145 pounds. Gaining confidence. Realizing that I have a sense of self-worth.



9. What was your biggest failure?
Once again, failing to follow through on my goals. I did get a number of them done, though, so I should give myself some credit.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
I had to be hospitalized three times this summer. I also had a kidney stone (which I passed just in time to meet my idol David Sedaris, which made for a great conversation starter. That, however, is another story)


11. What was the best thing you bought?
Those damn skinny jeans that give me an ass. My buttocks are concave, really, and this garment actually manages to correct that.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
Amanda Climer. I have completely fallen in love with this girl. I love how she is sorting out her life, and has realized her potential. I stand in awe of her everyday, and for the first time, can use the word "blessed" when describing my friendship with her.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
I'm not going to answer this.


14. Where did most of your money go?
Student loans, my cell phone bill. Clothes. Hookers. Heroin. Other things that start with "H"

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Surgery, of course.

16.What song will always remind you of 2008?
Oh, there are lots. The entire "Kala" album by M.I.A. " "None Of Your Business" by Salt N Pepa. "Single Ladies" by Beyonce. "The Girls" by Calvin Harris. "Walk It Out" by whoever the hell sings that song.


17. Compared to this time last year, are you:

i.
Happier or sadder?
Neither, I would say "more frustrated"

ii.
Thinner or fatter?
Thinner!


iii.
richer or poorer?
Still living paycheck to paycheck

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
Traveling. It is so easy, given my job. However, I always find some bill to pay or some "responsible adult" thing to do that prevents me from getting on a plane and leaving.

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
Paying bills and other "responsible adult" things so that I would travel.

21. How will you be spending New Years?
I spent the holiday with Tylana, Janice, Paul, and Vodka. Tylana, Janice, and Paul were great fun, but Vodka made me do things.....terrible things.

22. Did you fall in love in 2008?
Well.....yes. I never articulated that to anyone, and the whole situation ended badly, but I am glad that it happened when it did, because the Object made me grow as a person.

23. How many one-night stands?
What are those? I know not what you speak of.


24. What was your favourite TV program?
My favorite TV show will always be "Six Feet Under" and I WILL marry Claire!


25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
No, I don't think so.


26. What was the best book you read?
"Are You There God? It's Me, Margaret"


27. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Justice, probably.

28.What did you want and get?
A hot car on a cold night. Being cryptic is fun, but I am sure Patty knows what I am talking about.



29. What did you want and not get?
The honeybear.

30. What was your favorite film of this year?
Oh it has to be Juno.


31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I turned 25, and spent the evening having the 1980's prom I never had.



32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more
satisfying?
Having more money, of course. Doesn't that make everything better?

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2008?
Does it fit? Yes? I'll buy it.

34. What kept you sane?
Amanda Climer. Patty Coe.

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Absolutely none of them. Unless you count anything Toni Collette does, I want to have babies with her.

36. What political issue stirred you the most?
Obama. I understand if people did not want to vote for him based on their political beliefs, that's fine. It was the massive lies and racial assumptions people made. I have never felt more proud of my right to vote this year, if nothing else to cancel out the vote of the redneck calling him a terrorist.

37. Who did you miss?
My best friend Sarah, I will always miss her.

38. Who was the best new person you met?
Everyone who I met.

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2008
People are a lot nicer to you when you aren't as fat.

40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:
Oh that is simply impossible.

My (late) Christmas gift to you, dear readers.

In the past two days I think I have viewed the following clip 16546984965165 times. It's hypnotic.

Some observations I have made:

1. The best transitions come from the use of silk flowers
2. Henrietta and Merna have a zest for life that is absolutely infectious
3. Where did Henrietta get that awesome sweater? Santa did not bring me that for Christmas
4. Merna's bangs are just uncalled for. I did nothing to her to deserve that crime of hair.

Alas, Merna had loftier ambitions, and went on to record the club remix with the wonderful Calpernia Addams. Henrietta was just not ready for the big time:

And If You Can't Keep Pace, They Pick You Up. Mickey Means Business, Son.

Devonna Devonna Devonna Devonna why oh why did you have to put the idea of the Disneyland Half Marathon into my head? What was it, Succubus, that made you sing your sweet song to me, thus tempting me into registering for 13 miles of grueling Southern California heat. A full marathon is too "Runners World" Magazine for our hero, though dividing the gauntlet neatly in half has proven to stimulate my quixotic tendencies.

Visions of animated former compatriots dancing in my head, I started to train* for said half-marathon this week. With 226 days, 22 hours, 49 minutes, 42 seconds (thanks Disney Half Marathon countdown clock!) left until this exercise in torture, I better get on the ball with this. Promises of a giant Disney medal await me should I finish. While Disney's lawyers have assured me that I, my family, co-workers, local Starbucks girl, and any future unborn children I may have will be sued should I post any pictures of said medal, let me assure you, dear reader, that it is appropriately blingy, and would be well complimented with a Flava Flav style grill.

Germán sporting his marathon medal.

Yes, kids, you too can look like this.

*By "train" one should read "jogged for one lap around the track, wheezed, and sputtered to a stop all the while gasping for precious, precious air and longing for death.

Although This Is Nothing In The Scheme Of My Years

Tonight, as I soaked in the bathtub (Calgon, take me away!), I pondered the idea of finishing up my college education. As i refuse to move from my current location until I am actually ready this time, this would mean I would have to attend Boise State University. The mere thought of this induces uncontrolled vomiting, so I had to think of something else so not to ruin my recent bath-cleanliness.
I want so badly to leave Boise (and greater Idaho, for that matter), but I think I really WILL need to attend BSU. At this point, a degree is a degree.

However, I will not continue with my chosen major. For one, they don't offer it here. Second, I feel my professional longings shifting towards a new direction; surely this will materialize into a complete idea one day. At that point, I will make my decision.

Of course, no decision is more pressing than the one Mousy and Sad Girl debated in the classic Mi Vida Loca. Let us rat our hair, apply liberal amounts of AquaNet, and observe:

"Bring the table to me, Gilbert"

The above image was taken sometime in Jan 08. Every year during this time, my best friend Denise throws a massive celebration we call Denisemas. Traditionally, after an evening singing Denisemas carols with close friends, we end the evening hugging each other in a drunken stupor. However, the point of the above picture is to point out HOW FAT I WAS (all caps for added emphasis). Seriously, at that point I seem to be one step away from official ZIP code status.

Cut to December 08:

Excuse the messiness of the bedroom behind me. I still can't wrap my head around the fact that I look like that. Yes, it was brutal. Yes, I got sick, big sick. Yes, I can't eat anything and this makes me a social bore since eating rituals are an integral part of social interaction. Dammit, though, I look like that.

"Hello, my name is Germán, and I enjoy talking about myself"

Really, I have kept a journal for years over at LiveJournal, and I will forever consider that my internet home. However, it has come to light that there are actual people that I know in my real I-see-Germán-everyday-and-I'm-not-sick-of-him life that want to know the daily minutiae of my being! Well, much like Christina Aguilera, I am a genie in a bottle, and you have most definitely rubbed me the right way. I grant you this wish: The World of Germán. Enjoy.